Saturday, May 30, 2009

Wedding Etiquette: The Basics

People these days are thinking, does WEDDING ETIQUETTE still exist in our age wherein every rule that anybody can think of could be bent? In this rule defying age, it seems that WEDDING ETIQUETTE is just a thing of the past. But is WEDDING ETIQUETTE really now just part of history? I don't think so. And maybe even you and the rest of the population don't think so, too.

Every culture has WEDDING ETIQUETTE. Even if we think those who live in far flung areas are barbaric and do not know a thing about WEDDING ETIQUETTE, they have their own sets of rules and etiquette to follow. Their WEDDING ETIQUETTE may not be as proper as we think ours is, but for them their WEDDING ETIQUETTE is the proper WEDDING ETIQUETTE.

The WEDDING ETIQUETTE that we have come to know dates back from the 1800, at the time of the Victorians. Victorians are well educated, intelligent and well mannered. They value social manners and behavior. This is the reason why lots of social and WEDDING ETIQUETTE books had been published during the Victorian era.

The social and WEDDING ETIQUETTE practices of the Victorians has been passed on to us and became the basic WEDDING ETIQUETTE of the westerners. These Victorian WEDDING ETIQUETTE has been modified or bent to suit our current culture and lifestyle.

What are the basics of WEDDING ETIQUETTE? Should we follow every rule in Emily Post's famous WEDDING ETIQUETTE book?

WEDDING ETIQUETTE BASICS

In every all aspect of the wedding there is a WEDDING ETIQUETTE that should be followed. There's a WEDDING ETIQUETTE to follow when creating an invitation, sending it out, and replying to it; in attending a wedding, guests should abide to the basic WEDDING ETIQUETTE for guests; when sending out gifts there's a WEDDING ETIQUETTE too that must be followed. <

Here are some of basic WEDDING ETIQUETTE for the wedding parties and the guests:

For the bride and groom:

- Wedding invitation must be worded either formal or informal. It depends upon the couple. If they want a formal wedding celebration, they must choose formal words. If the wedding will be celebrated with closest family and friends, an informal wording on the invitation would do.

Invitation should be sent out four to six weeks before the wedding. If your wedding is a wedding destination, you may send a Save a Date card to your guests six to eight months before the wedding. Your guest also need to prepare themselves financially and physically for your wedding destination.

- A bride can now choose any dress design and color that she wants. But if she will be wed in a church with strict rules on dress code, she should abide to the rules of her church.

- A groom may wear either a suit or black tie. He could also wear a loose dress in beige pants for a beach wedding.

- The couples should not ask for cash gifts. As for wedding registry card, they should not insert it invitation. Just mention in your invitation that you have an online wedding registry.

- The stepmother may seat at the church's first pew only if the bride (if the bride is her stepdaughter) is closer to her than her mother. However, if the bride is close to both her mother and stepmother, she should seat her mother at the first pew.

For the guests:

- Invited guests should reply to a wedding invitation immediately after receipt of the invitation card or not later than two weeks before the wedding. Couples need to be informed of the actual head count for the sit down dinner.

- Guests should be formally dressed if the invitation is worded formally even if there is no indication that the attire should be formal. Women are now allowed to wear evening dress for a formal wedding especially if their escorts are in black tie.

- Guests are not obliged to buy gifts from the registry. Invited guests who can't make it to the wedding are also not obliged to send gifts.

Gifts may be sent to the couple before or one year after the wedding. It will help the newlywed alot if the gifts will be delivered at the couples new address.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Post Wedding Activities

For many couples, the wedding is not over once the reception is. Depending on the location of the wedding and the couple's relationship with their families, often there are other activities that follow the main event.

One of the most obvious is a breakfast the day following the wedding. This is a time for everyone to touch base with each other, check in on how everyone did and perhaps share memories of the night before. This breakfast activity can be as simple or elaborate as you like. Some people like to have this breakfast at a relative's house because that is friendly and familiar and more conducive to everyone hanging out and enjoying themselves. It can be potluck style or catered. You can also meet up at a restaurant.

Many families like to have the bride and groom open presents the day after the wedding. There are many who believe the bride and groom are required to open presents in the presence of family for good luck. In that case, building in the opening of presents is essential. This can be a simple gathering of friends and family or you can turn the present opening into an all-out activity, where each item is opened, demonstrated or displayed and discussed in great detail.

Opening gifts doesn't have to a dry activity. You can add some silly fun. How about starting with the smallest and moving to the largest gifts? Or working in the reverse order? You might even create a game. Everyone has to guess what's in each gift prior to its being opened. (Of course, people can't guess on their on gifts.) Someone can be in charge of keeping a tally and whoever gets the most right, wins a small prize.

The women in the bride's family might want to help her pack up her gown (or send it to the dry cleaners) and preserve her wedding bouquet. This can easily be done at home and the women (particularly those who are crafty) might want to get started on preserving the flowers as well.

In the crafty light, some brides might want to plan a scrapbook party for after the wedding. You won't have photos back from the photographer, but you can scrapbook many other wedding events, such as pre-events like manicures, various parties and the candid photos take by wedding guests the night before. More than being focused on the photos, this activity gives the women a chance to reflect on the events of the wedding, laugh at all the fun ties and journal and preserve memories before some are lost. It will also help the bride feel as if she's partly in control of all those photos before she leaves on her honeymoon and takes yet more photos.

If gifts were opened on this "day after the wedding", crafty groups might want to make thank you cards. Choose a design long before the wedding, perhaps even making a prototype as well. Then have all the supplies on hand and give everyone good ideas about how the cards should be made. Even the men can get on this act, helping to fold the cards, perhaps handling any computer work and even getting their fingers on glue and scissors. Send the bride and groom off with these homemade cards so when they get back from their honeymoon, all they have to do is jot off a quick note.

Some brides and grooms plan activities the day fter the wedding that are designed to help everyone calm down, relax and unwind after what has likely been a busy weekend. In this light, you can plan a picnic at the park and bring along games to play. You might pack a football, a volleyball net or items to play baseball. You might bring along water guns or a dartboard. Whatever it is, the idea here is to have some fun and blow off steam. Make your own rules when playing the games. It really doesn't matter. Today is about relaxing, unwinding and spending some quality time with friends and family before the special weekend is over.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Kids Wedding Reception Activities

Not all brides and grooms want to exclude children from their wedding. Many are happy to welcome children into their wedding both as members of the wedding party and as guests.

Having children at a wedding, however, poses a myriad of problems. Do you leave the children to their own devices and hope they behave and don't get in the way? Do you provide a room with childcare so they are "present" but not too much under foot? Perhaps the best solution is a simple mix of both, with a smattering of fun built in.

First of all, if children are invited to the wedding, take into consideration the ages of the children. Babies will have to stay with mom and/or dad, for a variety of reasons. So planning to have all the children in another room might not be feasible. But if the children are toddlers up to about age 12, you can provide a separate room for them with childcare and a make a number of activities available to them.

If the children will be in a separate room at the reception, you can provide a coloring table, perhaps a TV with an appropriate movie ready to roll, and some board games. That could probably be enough for the duration of the wedding reception. Be aware of a few things: there should be a ratio of at least 1 adult for every 5 children if the children are toddlers, or 1 adult to every 10 children if the kids are older. Don't expect the kids to take up the activities on their own, but rather tell the childcare provider to get the kids involved in the activities by doing them him or herself.

What if the children will be part of the reception festivities? What activities can be geared specifically to children at the reception? There are plenty of things you can do, really. You can certainly plan a coloring table at the back of the reception hall or room. There, you can provide loads of paper, coloring books, markers and crayons. Paints are not recommended, for obvious reasons, and moms will thank you if you remember to supply the kids with washable markers and crayons only.

The art table can be more than just coloring, however. Buy a huge bag of pipe cleaners. Kids can amuse themselves for long periods of time, making animals, odd figures and the like. Make sure you have at least 20 or more pipe cleaners for each child, however, as children can go through these quickly. Think about "clean" clay, the new products that don't stick to anything and don't leave a trace on furniture. With a few different colors, kids can create a variety of figures, faces or forms.

Many brides like to plan more formally for their small guests. There are several options if this is the route you want to take. One popular option is to have paid entertainment on hand just for the children. This can take place in a separate room or toward the back of the reception room or hall if it's large and the guest list is big. You can hire a clown or a balloon artist. You can have someone braid the children's hair and provide temporary tattoos. If there is a separate room available, you can even hire a children's musician to come and entertain the kids. The options are endless.

If no plans are made for the children, but they arrive at the wedding expecting entertainment, you'll have to make some plans. One option is a "child only" dance, which allows only the children on the dance floor. This is not only cute to watch, and could be entertaining as well, but it will bring a smile to the face of every grandma and grandpa present.